WHY PEOPLE FEEL LIKE QUITTING! By RC Blakes, Jr.

WHY PEOPLE FEEL LIKE QUITTING

Quitting seems to be as common as breathing today. Everywhere we turn people are throwing in the proverbial towel. America watched in disbelief when Roberto Duran, the man with the hands of stone through his hands up and quit against Sugar Ray Leonard. "No Mas, No Mas" were his words. Today, he is not remembered for the great champion he was; he is remembered for QUITTING. There's a famous poem called "See it through".

SEE IT THROUGH  

When you're up against a trouble, Meet it squarely, face to face; Lift your chin and set your shoulders, plant your feet and take a brace. When it's vain to try to dodge it, Do the best that you can do; you may fail, but you may conquer, See It Through.

Black may be the clouds about you and your future may seem grim, But don't let your nerve desert you; Keep yourself in fighting trim. If the worst is bound to happen, Spite of all that you can do, Running from it will not save you, See It Through!

Even hope may seem but futile, when with troubles you're beset, But remember you are facing just what other men have met. You may fail, but fall still fighting; Don't give up, whatever you do; Eyes front, head high to the finish. See It a Through!

Edgar Guest

Galatians 6:9- And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.

Galatians 6:9 So let's not allow ourselves to get fatigued doing good. At the right time we will harvest a good crop if we don't give up, or quit.

The Psychological Effect of Quitting

 Are you a quitter or a finisher?  Many individuals have the tendency to start a project, but never finish.  What causes a person to quit?  If we knew the answer, it would revolutionize our society. There are many unique combinations of behavior that determine why we quit. Couple procrastination with mediocrity, and add a little sloth and fear, you’ll have the recipe for quitting.  There are also many variables to consider when someone quits.  An individual starts a project, decides the project is not beneficial and makes a decision to quit.  Can we call that quitting or just changing direction? Quitting has a psychological effect on us. When someone makes a New Year’s resolution, for the first couple of weeks he or she diligently stay the course.  But, after a few weeks they quit. They are embedding into their subconscious mind, that they are a quitter.  When a situation comes their way, and they do not finish the task at hand, the groove in their mind becomes deeper, reinforcing on a psychological level that they are a quitter.   The groove becomes so deep, that quitting is woven into the fiber of their character and the individual is known as a quitter.

WHAT MAKES US WANT TO QUIT?

   A. We Want To Quit When We Are Afraid

1 John 4:18 - There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.

Elijah was running frantically from Jezebel because he was afraid.

A. We Want To Quit When No One Understands Our Burden

In that brief moment that Jesus thought to escape his assignment he was facing a task that no one understood or shared. Even his disciples didn't understand enough to pray with him.

Luke 22:40-42- And when he was at the place, he said unto them, Pray that ye enter not into temptation. And he was withdrawn from them about a stone's cast, and kneeled down, and prayed, Saying, Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done.

B. We Want To Quit When We Have No Spiritual Concept Of The Circumstance

Elisha's servant saw a great army coming against them but he didn't see the spiritual army until the prophet prayed for his eyes to be opened.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 - For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.

IMPACT POINT! We Cannot Live In Our Feelings; We Must Live In Our Faith

We cannot have a spiritual concept with a carnal focus.

C. We Want To Quit When We Sink Into Ubelief

Mark 9:23-24  Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth. And straightway the father of the child cried out, and said with tears, Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief.

IMPACT POINT! Unbelief Is The Mental Process Of Picking The Truth Of God Apart With Reasoning Leading To Fear And Quitting 

D. We Want To Quit When We Are Not Trained To Endure

Hebrews 12:11- At the time, discipline isn't much fun. It always feels like it's going against the grain. Later, of course, it pays off handsomely, for it's the well-trained who find themselves mature in their relationship with God.  MESSAGE BIBLE

IMPACT POINT! Training Is Paining

1 Peter 5:10-11 The suffering won't last forever. It won't be long before this generous God who has great plans for us in Christ—eternal and glorious plans they are!—will have you put together and on your feet for good. He gets the last word; yes, he does. MESSAGE BIBLE.

CHANGE - By: RC Blakes, Jr.

    CHANGING TO CHANGE                    

The entire world wants things to change but nobody wants to change themselves. We want different results with the same behavior. Change is mandatory for growth and relevance.
In the days of Jesus, they didn't generally put fluids like wine into bottles. They put them into skins. They'd kill a goat, cut off the head and feet, skin it, cure it in a way that minimized unpleasant flavors, then sew it back up, except for the neck. Then they'd put wine, water or milk in it. The problem with a skin was that they'd become harder and more brittle. If you put new wine into an old skin, the new wine was still fermenting, which means it was releasing gases. The gases would cause the old skin to burst. Because a new skin still had its flexibility, the gases released by the wine didn't cause a problem. The new wine of the Holy Spirit can't be contained by old structures like the carnal nature or the Mosaic Law. We need to keep our hearts soft and supple by listening to the leadings of the Holy Spirit, and allowing Him to change us.

Genesis 8:22- 22. While the earth remains, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, and day and night shall not cease.

The underlying principle of this passage applies to even more than the laws of sowing and reaping. The greater law of this passage is THE LAW OF CHANGE.

IMPACT POINT! Everything Is Changing Without Our Permission. Crisis Occurs When Seasons Change and We Haven't

ILLUSTRATION: One of the hardest things to watch is an athlete whose body is going in one direction and his knee doesn't flow with the shift and things break. WE MUST DISCERN THE SEASONS OF TRANSITION.

1 Chronicles 12:32- 32. And of the children of Issachar, which were men that had understanding of the times, to know what Israel ought to do;

IMPACT POINT! When We Don't Change, On Schedule. We Negate Maturity and Promotion

Hebrews 5:11-12- 11. Of whom we have many things to say, and hard to be uttered, seeing ye are dull of hearing. 12. For when for the time ye ought to be teachers, ye have need that one teach you again which be the first principles of the oracles of God; and are become such as have need of milk, and not of strong meat.

The reference to being dull of hearing basically means that they were not making adjustments according to what they heard. They wouldn't change so they were children when they should have been mature and students when they should have been teachers.

Deuteronomy 9:13- 13. Furthermore the Lord spake unto me, saying, I have seen this people, and, behold, it is a stiff necked people:

Stiff necked basically means that they were hardened in their mindset and CHANGE RESISTANT.

QUOTE: Sometimes the only way radical change happens is through radical pain.

Wayne Cordeiro

THINGS YOU MUST CHANGE TO CHANGE:

1. YOU MUST INTERNALIZE YOUR FOCUS

Most people never change because they live their lives blaming others for things that are often their own doing. David was confronted by the Prophet Nathan relative to a problem he, David, had created. The Prophet made David look within.

2 Samuel 12:1-7- 1. And the Lord sent Nathan unto David. And he came unto him, and said unto him, There were two men in one city; the one rich, and the other poor. 2. The rich man had exceeding many flocks and herds: 3. But the poor man had nothing, save one little ewe lamb, which he had bought and nourished up: and it grew up together with him, and with his children; it did eat of his own meat, and drank of his own cup, and lay in his bosom, and was unto him as a daughter. 4. And there came a traveler unto the rich man, and he spared to take of his own flock and of his own herd, to dress for the wayfaring man that was come unto him; but took the poor man’s -- lamb, and dressed it for the man that was come to him. 5. And David’s anger was greatly kindled against the man; and he said to Nathan, As the Lord liveth, the man that hath done this thing shall surely die: 6. And he shall restore -- the lamb fourfold, because he did -- this thing, and because he had no pity. 7. And Nathan said to David, Thou art the man. Thus saith the Lord God of Israel, I anointed thee king over Israel, and I delivered thee out of the hand of Saul;

The Prophet indirectly redirected David's focus to himself and not another.

IMPACT POINT! You Will Never Change What You Don't Own

Psalms 51:3-4 -3. For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me. 4. Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight: that thou mightest be justified when thou speakest, and be clear when thou judgest.

2. YOU MUST CHANGE YOUR DOMINANT RELATIONSHIPS

It’s a challenge to change neighborhoods and park at the old address every day. Can you imagine living somewhere and parking elsewhere? When we move forward in life but continue to park in old relationships, we kill progress and depress momentum.

Luke 6:39-40. 39. And he spake a parable unto them, Can the blind lead the blind? shall they not both fall into the ditch? 40. The disciple is not above his master: but every one that is perfect shall be as his master.

IMPACT POINT! The One Thing That Prevents Sustained Change Are Old Relationships That Don't Agree With The New Standard

Amos 3:3- 3. Do two people walk hand in hand if they aren't going to the same place? MESSAGE BIBLE

3. YOU MUST CHANGE YOUR SPIRITUAL INTENSITY

The truth of the whole matter is this: without God there is very little positive change that will be maintained. Putting God at the helm is imperative.

2 Corinthians 5:17- 17. Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.

IMPACT POINT! To Overcome Unproductive Habits And Vices Requires Living In The Spirit

John 15:4- 4. Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me.

 

HOW TO RECOVER FROM A BAD RELATIONSHIP: BY RC BLAKES, JR.

HOW TO RECOVER FROM A BAD RELATIONSHIP

There are few things in life that are worse than being in a relationship that is not ordained of God, it disrupts your personal sense of happiness and impedes your developing into all that God ordained you to be.

2 Corinthians 6:14. 14 - Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

The principle of this text is that we are not designed to fit in relationships with any and everybody.

IMPACT POINT! Relationships Require Thought And Clarity; Because, What Looks Good Today Can Be Detrimental Tomorrow.

ILLUSTRATION: There’s a country song where a man tells the story of a woman he wanted so badly that it broke his heart when it didn't work out. Years later, he saw her again and she was 150 lbs. heavier, unkept, toothless and loud. He left away from that encounter shaking his head and saying "one of Gods greatest gifts is unanswered prayer".

Sometimes the rejection of man is the protection of God. God had to orchestrate it that in the life of Joseph, his brothers would reject him to protect Joseph from their limiting influence.

1 Corinthians 15:33. 33 Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners.

There are times that we unintentionally find ourselves in bad relationships. One of the clearest signs is when we begin to behave out of character as the result of connecting with the wrong people.

IMPACT POINT! Not Only Does A Bad Relationship Cause You To Behave Out Of Character It Leaves You Feeling Bad About Yourself. It Depletes the Self Esteem Nutrient.

Right relationships are people who love you for who you are and support where you're going.

HOW TO RECOVER:

 1.     RESIST THE TEMPTATION TO REPLACE PEOPLE TOO QUICKLY

The first issue with recovering from a bad relationship is to break the relationship addiction. Most people who are in one bad relationship after another are addicted to people.

IMPACT POINT! People Who Are People Addicts Never Fully Love Themselves And Settle For Whomever, Just To Have Someone There.

The reality is that a person who rushes into another relationship they've learned the necessary lessons from the previous has a self-love issue and is not qualified to be in relationship yet.

Matthew 22:39. 39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.

 IMPACT POINT! We Can Only Love Others to The Degree We Love Ourselves

When you love yourself you have no problem being with just you. When you love yourself you don't subject yourself to abuse and disrespect by others. This person usually falls back into the same situation with different people who possess the same character.

ILLUSTRATION: In the popular song, "To the Left", she says: "I can have another you in a minute; he'll be here in a minute".

QUESTION: WHY WOULD SHE GET THE SAME KIND OF DUDE? She's addicted to relationship and her self-esteem is empty.

To safely navigate the turbulent waters of relationships will require personal discernment. That is the ability to see a person for more than what they appear to be on the surface and discernment takes time.

1 John 4:1. 1 Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world.

Never trust that people are what they say they are.  Take your time and test them.

THREE REASONS YOU NEED TO TAKE TIME BEFORE

MOVING INTO ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP:

 

           a. Process why you got into that relationship in the beginning. 
           b. Clearly define what you really need and want in your life.
           c. Correct whatever is deficient in you that moves you toward the wrong people

 2.     RENEW YOUR THINKING TO ATTRACT THE RIGHT PEOPLE

Our hearts and thinking function like magnets in life. WE ATTRACT TO US WHATEVER WE ARE IN OUR HEARTS.

Proverbs 4:23. 23 Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.

The heart here speaks of your thinking or consciousness. You may say you want xyz but if your heart is not established on that level you will never get what you say you want until your inside agrees.

IMPACT POINT! You Don’t Attract What You Want; You Attract What You Are

If you are tired of attracting bad people you must know that there is something in your thinking that calls for this type of person. FOR INSTANCE: You may think that you're not ghetto but if all you attract are ghetto people you just might be ghetto.

QUOTE: "Don’t Be A Nickel Looking For A Dime" - LYFE JENNINGS

Romans 12:2. 2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect, will of God.

 

HOW TO RENEW THINKING

 

                                         a. Rehearse Your Worth Until You Remember

b. Meditate on who you are until you automatically reject less

 3.     REPOSITION YOURSELF AND REDEFINE YOUR CIRCLE

 

While your thinking is in the process of being renewed you need to put yourself in a circle where you may meet and encounter quality people.

IMPACT POINT! If you're A Woman looking For a Husband the Night Club Is Probably Not the Best Circle. While you’re Wanting Someone to Love You for The Rest Of Your Life, In The Club, They Are Only Going To Love You For The Rest Of The Night.

Proverbs 13:20. 20 He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.

IMPACT POINT! You Can't Catch a Whale When You're Fishing From The Bank. If You Want A Whale You Must Expand Your Circle.

4.     RECOMMIT TO THE PRIMARY AND ETERNAL RELATIONSHIP

There is but one mandatory relationship and when we focus and perfect that relationship all others fall into order.

IMPACT POINT! The Mandatory Relationship Is Your Relationship With God.

Psalms 27:10. 10 When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take me up.

 

 

RESTORING UNITY - By: RC Blakes, Jr.

RESTORING UNITY

A breakdown in unity can happen before anyone realizes it. When we come together and we are not prayerful and in our feelings we can drift apart to the detriment of the body. Even the Apostle Paul had a rift that created a problem in the Body of Christ.

Acts 15:36-39. 36. And after some time Paul said to Barnabas, Come, let us go back and again visit and help and minister to the brethren in every town where we made known the message of the Lord, and see how they are getting along.37. Now Barnabas wanted to take with them John called Mark [his near relative].38. But Paul did not think it best to have along with them the one who had quit and deserted them in Pamphylia and had not gone on with them to the work. 39. And there followed a sharp disagreement between them, so that they separated from each other, and Barnabas took Mark with him and sailed away to Cyprus. AMPLIFIED VERSION

Paul and Barnabus parted ways because of a disagreement about taking Mark on the journey. Paul didn't want to take him because he deserted the mission on a previous occasion and Barnabus wanted Mark to come .

So, Paul and Barnabus parted ways because of Paul's broken trust in Mark. The mission was compromised because personal feelings started influencing ministry decisions.

Even Though Paul Had An Issue With John Mark, It Is Apparent In Scripture That Paul And Mark Reconciled At Some Point.

2 Timothy 4:11. Only Luke is with me. Take Mark, and bring him with thee: for he is profitable to me for the ministry.
This is the same Mark that Paul previously had an issue with.

IMPACT POINT! Spiritually Mature And Healthy People Are Always Uncomfortable With Division And They Work Towards Restoration Of Unity At All Cost.

Proverbs 20:3 It is an honor for a man to cease from strife: but every fool will be meddling.

Proverbs 20:3. It's a mark of good character to avert quarrels, but fools love to pick fights.

 MESSAGE

IMPACT POINT! Some People Actually Thrive On Contention; Because, Contention Brings Attention. Some People Crave Attention.

WHAT IS UNITY? Unity is the intentional and unbreakable cooperation of individuals with a focus                                      on a greater objective.

Psalms 133:1. Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!

The emphasis of this text is brethren dwelling together without strife or competition for a common and greater objective

STEPS TO RESTORED UNITY:

A. ADDRESS WHAT CAUSED THE OFFENSE

There's no way to avoid offences among multiple personalities. When someone is offended it is their responsibility to address the matter before it becomes cancerous.

If you are aware that another is offended by something you did its your responsibility to go and make it right.

Matthew 5:23-24. 23. Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; 24. Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.

IMPACT POINT! Always Make Certain That You Deal With Your Personal Transgressions Against Others

Luke 17:1-2. ​1. Then said he unto the disciples, It is impossible but that offences will come: but woe unto him, through whom they come! 2. It were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he cast into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones.

IMPACT POINT! To Talk About Your Offences To Anyone Other Than The Person Is Hypocrisy

B. RELEASE THE VENOM OF UNFORGIVENESS FROM YOUR HEART

If we would practice forgiveness, we would never be offended.

IMPACT POINT! Jesus Never Needed An Apology And He Always Forgave Quickly. This Was For His Own Spiritual Health

Luke 17:3-4. Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him. And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him.

IMPACT POINT! It's Impossible To Avoid Offences; But It Is Possible To Live Without Being Offended When You Can Forgive

C. ADJUST YOUR BEHAVIOR TO NEVER GIVE OFFENSE AN OPPORTUNITY AGAIN

Most of the things that offend people in families, churches and even on jobs are trivial and simply require a more mature person to steer around the personality road bumps.

The Apostle Paul talked about how he adjusted his approach towards people based on where the individual was. To avoid offences in the future requires adjusting to the person.

1 Corinthians 9:22-23. 22. To the weak became I as weak, that I might gain the weak: I am made all things to all men, that I might by all means save some. 23. And this I do for the gospel's sake, that I might be partaker thereof with you.

BREAKING OUT OF THE PRISONS OF YOUR PAST - By: RC Blakes, Jr.

BREAKING OUT OF THE PRISONS OF YOUR PAST

The greatest prison known to mankind is the prison of the mind. When your mind is incarcerated your life is held captive to yesterday. A lot of the subconscious motivation for women driving the beauty industry is that they want to paint over the pain and issues they really struggle with internally.

IMPACT POINT! Women INTERNALIZE Matters While Men Generally INSULATE

Hebrews 12:15 (KJV). Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;

THE FALL OUT OF UNPROCESSED ISSUES:

1. When You Don't Get Delivered From Your Past, You Subject The Innocent People Of Your Present To A Life Sentence For Crimes They Didn't Commit

2. You Remain Emotionally Unavailable For People To Love You Sincerely For Fear Of Deception

3. Your Countenance Displays Your Condition Which Distracts People Who Could Be A Present Blessing

John 4:15-19 (KJV).  The woman saith unto him, Sir, give me this water, that I thirst not, neither come hither to draw. 16 Jesus saith unto her, Go, call thy husband, and come hither. 17 The woman answered and said, I have no husband. Jesus said unto her, Thou hast well said, I have no husband: 18 For thou hast had five husbands; and he whom thou now hast is not thy husband: in that saidst thou truly. 19 The woman saith unto him, Sir, I perceive that thou art a prophet.

There are three areas this woman was emotionally, spiritually and even physically Imprisoned to, RELATIONSHIPS-CHOICES-MISTAKES

IMPACT POINT! The Only Way To Get Out And Stay Out Of Prison Is To Understand Why You Went To Start

1. BREAKING FREE FROM BAD RELATIONSHIPS

The first prison we can recognize in this woman's mind was obviously in the area of poor relationship choices. This lady had a string of bad relationships.

IMPACT POINT! Broken Relationships Leave The Woman Feeling Bitter And Asking "How could I Be So Stupid?"

QUESTION? Why do men leave easily and women tolerate?

Women usually enter into relationships to fill a personal lack for something and become codependent. Men strictly enter in for self-advantage or addition to. When it doesn't add they eliminate.

What Drives A Woman's Poor Relationship Choices? 

A. Compensating For A Lack Of Paternal Affirmation...She struggles with self- esteem and builds her relationships according to her need for the personal affirmation of a male.

B. Need For Maternal Expression...She develops relationships out of her maternal nature and takes on men that she can take care of.

IMPACT POINT! As a consequence of developing relationships from a position of "I need you to complete me" the woman is more susceptible to developing soul ties.

DEFINITION: A soul tie is a strong mental and spiritual attachment to a person that prevents you from moving away from them. Even when you austencibly move on to another relationship the next person is a carbon copy inflicting the same abuses.

IMPACT POINT! Soul Ties Primarily Happen Through Sexually Erotic Experiences

1 Corinthians 6:15-16 (KJV). Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid. 16 What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh.

Jesus prophetically revealed to this woman that she had a string of illicit relationships. In other words she kept attracting men that wouldn't commit.

This woman kept choosing the same kind of man which was simply a repetition of the original man she had                     never moved pass. Her "new relationships were all a repeat of the original"

HOW DOES A SOUL TIE FUNCTION?

a. When A Person Is Imprisoned By A Soul Tie They Will Reject What They Know Is Obviously Better; Because, The Understanding Is Darkened

2 Timothy 3:6-7 (KJV) For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts, 7 Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.

IMPACT POINT! The Engine of A Soul Tie Is To Create A Desire That Is Insatiable For The Person And Something They Do

When an ungodly man has the occasion to experience a Godly woman sexually, he will push the limits; because, the more perverted he can make the experience the deeper into her soul he sinks. She will need deliverance to break free.

IMPACT POINT! The Soul Tie Is Emotional And Spiritual. It Over-rides the Intelligence

Ephesians 4:17-18 (KJV) This I say therefore, and testify in the Lord, that ye henceforth walk not as other Gentiles walk, in the vanity of their mind, 18 Having the understanding darkened, being alienated from the life of God through the ignorance that is in them, because of the blindness of their heart:

This is why the Word says that the marital bed is undefiled, Meaning, An Unmarried Sexual Experience Is Defiled. When a person engages another sexually there are spiritual doors opened.

IMPACT POINT! You May Know Better In Your Spirit But The Head And Body Can't Break Free  

A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP IS WHEN TWO PEOPLE HAVE COMMON VALUES AND ARE GROWING ON THE SAME SCHEDULE

HOW TO BREAK A SOUL TIE

a. Forgive the person for offenses   b. Arrest the images that prompt the thoughts that keep you tied   c. Empty your life of things that generate memories d. Fill your heart with the Word of God  e. Reject new relationships that are continuations of the original

2. BREAKING FREE FROM BAD CHOICES

Jesus makes it clear that her life was where it was because of her choices. He says " the one (the man) you have now is not yours." Jesus is holding her accountable for her part in her condition.

IMPACT POINT! Poor Choices Leave The Woman With Feelings Of Embarrassment (I can't believe I did this again)

WHY DO WOMEN MAKE THE CHOICES THEY MAKE?

IMPACT POINT! Choices Are Either Driven By INTELLECT, EMOTION Or SPIRITUAL Insight. Most Women Rarely Get Out Of Their Feelings Long Enough To Think or To Hear From God                                                                        (Habit 1 of Being a Powerful Woman - Take Control of Your Emotiona)

Proverbs 25:28 (KJV).  He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls.

When choices are made consequences follow. Based on the consequences the choices either build self-esteem or destroy it.

There's no greater bondage than the bondage of guilt felt as a consequence of the repercussions of bad personal choices.
Psalms 51:3 (KJV) For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me.

David let's us into his psychological prison when he says:.. “my sin is always on my mind."

WHAT HAPPENS TO THE PERSON WHEN THE MIND IS CLOGGED WITH THE WRECKAGE OF BAD CHOICES?

a. Unconsciously you redefine your self-worth to that standard. It moves from "I made a bad choice to I'm a bad person".  

b. Subsequently you lower your standards. "I don't deserve anymore than this."

c. You settle for ill treatment because you feel you've earned it

WHAT DRIVES YOUR CHOICES?

1. Values learned from observation or instruction.

2. Vision gained from an understanding of purpose and a preferred future.  

3. Vanity stemming from a foolish and perverted heart.   

 YOUR DOMINANT INFLUENCE WILL STEER YOUR CHOICES

IMPACT POINT! Choices Are Ultimately Made In The Mind; But, Are Influenced From One Of Two Polls, The Spirit Or The Flesh

Romans 8:4-7 (KJV)…That the righteousness of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. 5 For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit. 6 For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. 7 Because the carnal mind is enmity against God:for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be.

IMPACT POINT! Choices Are Just The Fruit Indicating The Dominant Root, Which Is Either Flesh Or Spirit

HOW TO GET DELIVERED FROM BAD CHOICES  

a. Accept your humanity and forgive yourself.

b. Look at the fruit of your current choices and determine what must change.

IMPACT POINT! The Fastest Way To Move Pass A Failed Past Is To Chart A Successful Future.                                         

c. Never rush into decisions before prayer and counseling

d. Consider the others your choices will impact

3. GETTING FREE FROM MISTAKES

What Is A Mistake? It’s an error, blunder, misstep, oversight or an inaccuracy. In practical terms a mistake is a detour from the ideal standard; It is something less than what is required or proper

IMPACT POINT! Mistakes Are Ordained By God To Serve As A Mirror And A Window, A Mirror To See Ourselves For How Imperfect We Really Are And A Window To Look Through  And See Our Need For God

 PSALM 37:23-24

23 The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord: and he delighteth in his way.

24 Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the Lord upholdeth him with his hand.

 A mistake is a life lesson that graduates you if you learn and forces you into repeating the same course if you don't. The way you adjust to mistakes may be an indication of your own personal intelligence.

IMPACT POINT! The Reason We Can Identify A Mistake Is Because It Causes Pain.

Proverbs 17:10 (KJV). A reproof entereth more into a wise man than an hundred stripes into a fool.

IMPACT POINT! If You Don't Make The Necessary Adjustments To Pain To Avoid It You Are NO LONGER A VICTIM YOU ARE A VOLUNTEER

WHY DO WE MAKE REPETITIVE MISTAKES? 

 a. Living in a fantasy rather than facing facts. 

 b. Refuse the wisdom of proven counselors.

 c. Not given to the pursuit of knowledge

MISTAKES leave the woman with self-doubt and apprehension about independent thinking

HOW TO RECOVER FROM MISTAKES

PSALM 51:1-13.  Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions.2 Wash me throughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin.3 For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me.4 Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight: that thou mightest be justified when thou speakest, and be clear when thou judgest.5 Behold, I was shapen in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me.6 Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom.7 Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.8 Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice.9 Hide thy face from my sins, and blot out all mine iniquities.10 Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. 11 Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me.12 Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit.13 Then will I teach transgressors thy ways; and sinners shall be converted unto thee.

David screwed up big time and it is from his mistakes that he teaches us how to bounce back from mistakes. He committed adultery with one of his soldiers’ wife, he conceived a child by that affair and

Ultimately, had his own soldier assassinated.

 

DAVIDS’ PROCESS:  ACKNOWLEDGE IT

The first thing that David teaches us is to own up to it. Don’t buy in to the Ostrich philosophy of sticking your head in the sand and hoping it goes away. You will never change what you do not confront. David says:

PSALM 51:3

3 For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me.

One of the most self-defeating forces in a person’s life is within the person himself; it’s the EGO. The ego is a person’s sense of self, a person’s opinion of himself and a person’s ideal view of who they think they are. The ego makes us uncomfortable with not getting it right or missing an intended mark of excellence from time to time.

IMPACT POINT! The Ego Convinces Us To Deny Our Mistakes As Opposed To Acknowledging And Changing.

GET YOUR HEART RIGHT

David also teaches us that we have to go inside of ourselves to produce sustainable change. You can’t get the outside right until you get the inside corrected.

PSALM 51: 10

Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me

David prays for a clean heart and a right spirit. David came to the conclusion that something needed to be adjusted inside of him. David didn’t make excuses or cast blame he faced himself and was honest about the fact that he wasn’t right on the inside.

IMPACT POINT! It Is Useless To Attempt To Change A Failing Behavior Without Concurrently Creating A New Mindset And Heart

ROMANS 12:1-2

12 I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

RUN INTO THE PRESENCE OF GOD

David goes on to show us that we must run into the presence of God when we’ve messed up.

PSALM 51:11

11 Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me.

David realizes that he can only recover as he resides in the presence of God. The trick of the enemy is to coach us into running away from God’s presence when we mess up. We allow shame and guilt to drive us away from God when we need Him most.

IMPACT POINT! As We Dwell In The Presence Of God We Are Transformed By His Glory

SNAP OUT OF YOUR DEPRESSION

The next thing David shows us is the importance of shutting down your pity-party over the mistake.

PSALM 51:12

12. Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit

 

When he says restore the joy he’s crying out for help to snap out of the depression and melancholy disposition that accompanied his mistake.

Mistakes Should Create A Sense Of Sorrow; But, That Sorrow Should Bring Us To A Path Of Change. The Only Way To Change Is To Get Up And Out Of Your Pit Of Dejection

 

NEHEMIAH 8:10

10 Then he said unto them, Go your way, eat the fat, and drink the sweet, and send portions unto them for whom nothing is prepared: for this day is holy unto our Lord: neither be ye sorry; for the joy of the Lord is your strength.

 The term strength is the Hebrew ma`owz (maw-oze') a fortified place; figuratively, a defense: force, fort (-ress), rock, strong (hold). When recovering from a mistake it’s important to elevate your praise so as to increase the joy of God in your life; this then serves as a fortress or source of strength to recover.

USE YOUR ERROR TO LEAD OTHERS

IN THE RIGHT PATH

Finally David says: “as I recover I’m going to use my experience to help others to avoid my path.”

PSALM 51:13

13 Then will I teach transgressors thy ways; and sinners shall be converted unto thee.

IMPACT POINT! A Greater Travesty Besides Any Initial Error Is To Fail To Use That Experience To Help Others

Jesus teaches Peter a very important lesson regarding the responsibility of having received grace to recover from a failure.

LUKE 22:31-32. 31 And the Lord said, Simon, Simon, behold, Satan hath desired to have you, that he may sift you as wheat: 32 But I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not: and when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren.