HOW TO RECOVER FROM A BAD RELATIONSHIP PART 1

By: R.C. Blakes, Jr.

 

HOW TO RECOVER FROM A BAD RELATIONSHIP

(Part 1)

There are few things in life that are worse than being in a relationship that is not ordained of God, it disrupts your personal sense of happiness and impedes your developing into all that God ordained you to be.  2 Corinthians 6:14

14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

The principle of this text is that we are not designed to fit in relationships with any and everybody.

IMPACT POINT! Relationships Require Thought and Clarity; Because, What Looks Good Today Can Be Detrimental Tomorrow.

ILLUSTRATION: Theres a country song where a man tells the story of a woman he wanted so badly that it broke his heart when it didn't work out. Years later he saw her again and she was 150 lbs heavier, unkept, toothless and loud. He left away from that encounter shaking his head and saying "one of Gods greatest gifts is unanswered prayer.

Sometimes the rejection of man is the protection of God. God had to orchestrate it that in the life of Joseph his brothers would reject him to protect Joseph from their limiting influence.

1 Corinthians 15:33
33 Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners.

There are times that we unintentionally find ourselves in bad relationships.

One of the clearest signs is when we begin to behave out of character as the result of connecting with the wrong people.

IMPACT POINT! Not Only Does A Bad Relationship Cause You To Behave Out Of Character It Leaves You Feeling Bad About Yourself. It Depletes the Self Esteem Nutrient.

Right relationships are people who love you for who you are and support where you're going.

 HOW TO RECOVER

1.    RESIST THE TEMPTATION TO REPLACE PEOPLE TO QUICKLY

The first issue with recovering from a bad relationship is to break the relationship addiction. Most people who are in one bad relationship after another are addicted to people.

IMPACT POINT! People Addicts Never Fully Love Themselves And Settle For Anybody, Just To Have Someone There.

The reality is that a person who rushes into another relationship vetoer they've learned the necessary lessons from the previous has a self love issue and is not qualified to be in relationship yet.

Matthew 22:39

39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.

IMPACT POINT! We Can Only Love Others To The Degree We Love Ourselves.

When you love yourself you have no problem being with just you. When you love yourself you don't subject yourself to abuse and disrespect by others. This person usually falls back into the same situation with different people who possess the same character.

ILLUSTRATION: In the popular song, "To The Left", she says: "I can have another you in a miniute, he'll be here in a minute". QUESTION: WHY WOULD SHE GET THE SAME KIND OF DUDE IN DIFFERENT CLOTHES? She's addicted to relationship and her self-esteem is empty.

To safely navigate the turbulent waters of relationships will require personal discernment. That is the ability to see a person for more than what they appear to be on the surface and discernment takes time.

1 John 4:1

1 Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world.

Never trust that people are what they say they are. Take your time and test them.

THREE REASONS YOU NEED TO TAKE TIME BEFORE MOVING INTO ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP:

 a. Process why you got into that relationship in the beginning.

b. Clearly define what you really need and want in your life.

c. Correct whatever is deficient in you that moves you towards the wrong people.

 2.    RENEW YOUR THINKING TO ATTRACT THE RIGHT PEOPLE

Our hearts and thinking function like magnets in life. WE ATTRACT TO US WHATEVER WE ARE IN OUR HEARTS.

Proverbs 4:23

23 Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.

The heart here speaks of your thinking or consciousness. You may say you want xyz but if your heart is not established on that level you will never get what you say you want until your inside agrees.

IMPACT POINT! You Dont Attract What You Want; You Attract What You Are.

If you are tired of attracting bad people you must know that there is something in your thinking that calls for this type of person. FOR INSTANCE: You may think that you're not ghetto but if all you attract are ghetto people you just might be ghetto.

QUOTE: "Dont Be A Nickle Looking For A Dime" LYFE JENNINGS

Romans 12:2

2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

HOW TO RENEW THINKING

a. Rehearse Your Worth Until You Remember

b. Meditate on who you are until you automatically reject less

3.    REPOSITION YOURSELF AND REDEFINE YOUR CIRCLE

While your thinking is in the process of being renewed you need to put yourself in a circle where you may meet and encounter quality people.

IMPACT POINT! If You're A Woman Looking For A Husband The Night Club Is Probably Not The Best Circle. While You"re Wanting Someone To Love You For The Rest Of Your Life In The Club They Are Only Going To Love You For The Rest Of The Night.

Proverbs 13:20

20 He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.

IMPACT POINT! You Can't Catch A Whale When You're Fishing From The Bank. If You Want A Whale You Must Expand Your Circle.

4. RECOMMIT TO THE PRIMARY AND ETERNAL RELATIONSHIP

There is but one mandatory relationship and when we focus and perfect that relationship all others fall into order.

IMPACT POINT! The Mandatory Relationship Is Your Relationship With God.

Psalms 27:10

10 When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take me up.